June 1, 2012

Oops! I did it again... by Jac

My pretty little gash. It's quite deeper
than it looks! Bruises just taking form.

Remember that one time I told you I had an injury free summer and I was so proud? I thought I had it all figured out—at least the "moving forward in life" stuff. I thought my knee injuries were over! Unfortunately, recent events would suggest otherwise. 

Here's the story: I went down to St. George with some great buddies for Memorial Day weekend. We decided to check out the Red Cliffs hike close to Leeds. The trail has many pools and awesome vertical rocks. 

We reached one point where we had to scale some steep rocks in order to stay dry. (If it hadn't been such a chilly, windy day, we would have just worn our swimsuits and planned to get wet.) My incredible Khombu shoes successfully transported me where I needed to go quickly and safely. Julie, however, was having traction issues. She thought if she climbed a little higher where it wasn't as steep, she would be able to climb down without a hitch. 

Nope. She was stuck. Jason, the one guy in our group, was trying to help her down by holding her feet to give her traction, but it just wasn't enough. Since I was already on the other side, I stepped in and grabbed her hand. She shuffled around a bit to find a confident step and went for it. 

She immediately slipped and slid downward at full speed and out of Jason's reach. I jerked her arm forward to save her from falling into the water. Consequently, it flung me off balance and I had to throw my weight forward to save myself. Next thing I knew, she was being slung back again and was about to go down, so I forcefully propelled us both forward to secure our position safely on the rocks. (It sounds much more dramatic telling it than if you had seen it happen- lol!)

The Red Cliffs hike.
Somewhere in that mess of events, I gashed, scraped and bruised up my knee. Luckily, I had brought Lavender and Yarrow essential oils and used them stopped the bleeding straightaway. Needless to say, I had a difficult time toughing out the rest of the hike with a disabled knee. 

The next day, frustration set in. How did I get taken out again? (There won't be any running, cycling, or zumba-ing for a little while…) Maybe I over-think and over-analyze, but I believe everything happens for a reason. There are lessons to be learned in everything, if only we will open our eyes.

I spent the next few days racking my brain… What am I afraid of? How am I not wanting or allowing myself to move forward? I keep drawing blanks. Honestly, I feel like I'm in a really good place right now. Nothing comes up.

Interestingly, one of my besties sent me a picture last night. She had shredded her leg sliding into third base. She was one of the buddies I'd just spent the weekend with. I had zoned her the day after my injury and guess what one of the major emotions she was holding on to was… Fear of moving forward.  

Hmmm… Is it possible that I was taking on her stuff before I even knew what her stuff was? I think so! Sometimes, I will find myself so melancholy one day, then later find out she was feeling the same way at the same time. Even hundreds of miles away, we have a special connection. When we care deeply for someone, it's easy to take on their stuff inadvertently, because of our desire to help them and to take away their aches and pains and sufferings. 

So what's the lesson learned from my recent experience? Don't take on other people's stuff!! My zoning instructor always said, "It's not my pig, it's not my farm."
All healing comes through one, Jesus Christ. He is the one who lifts the heavy burdens, not me. I can be understanding, compassionate, and empathetic. I can be an instrument to help people to heal. However, it's not my job to take other people's stuff and that takes conscious effort sometimes—at least until it becomes part of my nature.

I am grateful for an experience to keep me aware. And I can't wait to get back in the game. My mind and body are craving a good run... I guess I'd better get zoned again for quicker healing time!!

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